Your time is near

The phone I hold in my hand is failing me. The screen is all distorted, the top directional button doesn't work, and the screen often turns off unexpectedly. Of course, it's faults are only the result of my actions, but the fact remains that this phone is incapable of performing the tasks I need it to. When it comes to cell phones for me, I'll take functionality over features any day. I'm just really really picky about my phone.

Basically, I need a phone where I don't need to access the menu to get to the things I need on a daily basis. Things like composing a new message, contacts, calculator, calendar, and inbox. I need a phone that doesn't have a limit to the number of messages stored in the inbox. I also need to have a phone that never lags behind my actions. I need to be able to open my phone, text someone, and close it within 5 seconds or so. It's not that I'm so busy that I can't use a slow phone, it's just about my standards of what my phone should be able to do.

TL;DR - my phone is almost broken and I want a new one.